During coursework, it was comparatively easier for me to"ignore" friends who were visiting and spend my time reading or writing instead. Now that I am working on my dissertation, I am finding it hard for me have friends over to my place at all. When they come, I feel guilty for not entertaining them.
I could not figure out why I felt so differently. Until now.
During coursework, I had to report to a professor. There was a deadline imposed upon me. And since all of my friends understoodd what it is like to have to meet a project deadline (or get it trouble with the professor), it was easy for me to excuse myself from their presence to meet my deadline. I was still a "good person," just busy.
However, any deadline for my dissertation is self-imposed. To ignore friends when they visit now feels more like self-centeredness. I have no professor on whom to blame my inhospitable behavior. I am just rude, or bad, or selfish to not spend time interacting with them. In addition, because this dissertation takes so long to do, it feels like I am forever ignoring them.
Perhaps I just have a problem with discipline. If I could discipline myself to get the work done *when* I am supposed to do it, then I could very well balance family, social, and dissertating life a lot better than I am currently doing it.
To whip or not to whip myself. That is the question.
7 years ago
3 comments:
Thanks LD 4 your comment is what I needed to hear at the moment. Yah hopefully I when I go back to the subject it will be much easier.
Omigosh, I SO completely understand exactly what you're talking about!!!
I don't think that self-discipline is the only factor. Doctoral students have a lot of responsibilities. On the one hand, we do need to manage our time. On the other hand, we actually have a LOT of different responsibilities on our plates (teaching and counselling, for instance, take up a lot of time).
So, I would say "not to whip."
SW: Thanks for your encouragement. I always think of you as standing on a much higher pedestal where discipline in concerned. Forcing myself to study when I am uncomfortable is not my forte. The last time I did it, I ended up fainting--remember? I don't want a repeat performance, but I think I need to work harder and embrace more pain than I am currently allowing myself. I just don't want to have a burn-out experience and end-up hating my dissertation. I've swung over a little too much towards the lenient side of the pendulum; it's time to swing over just a bit to the disciplined side. Not all the way, just enough until there is a sense of true balance. I'm thinking a minimum of 3 "timed-hours" of work per day would be adequate. I usually get more than 3 if I aim for it.
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