How To Be A Little Less Lonely

Big Name Researcher turned out to be doing research that is not quite like mine. And so I'm not sure partnering up the research would work.

At Important Regional Gathering last week, I met and talked to Big Name Editor who was the guest plenary speaker for the Gathering. I shared with hir my loneliness at doing research back in Home Country.

BNE: "Just send me anything you're writing on. I'll read it and give you feedback. Send it anytime."

Me: "You don't need to have some kind of an official role? Like... be on my committee or something?"

BNE: "Nope." And then s/he added, "you're the only one who is asking intelligent questions in this Gathering."

Me: Mouth-wide open... "thanks."

For the rest of the gathering, I went around introducing hirm as my new research mentor.

Lonely dissertator is starting to feel a little less lonely.

:big smile:

Validation

I had lunch today with one of the leading scholars in family qualitative methods in the U.S. and likely in the world.

After talking with her about my dissertation and about Grounded Theory, she encouraged me that I am very much ready to embark on my project, and that it is a very good one.

Then, she introduced me to one of her students: "This is Lonely Dissertator (me). He understands grounded theory more than any student I have ever met."

After all that hard work (and torture), receiving such validation is simply... sweet.

Research Update

I suppose I ought to be more faithful to this blog and update more often (I tend to update my "other" blog a lot more frequently).

So, what's there to update about my lonely dissertator's life?

It's been frustrating and scary and exciting at the same time. Frustrating in that I want to spend all of my time focused on designing my dissertation proposal but I can't. Life gets in the way. Scary because my dissertation looks like it's going to be a heckuva major project that has never been done before. Exciting because if I can pull this off, it will result in a real contribution to the field--it may even be a landmark study.

My advisor (my new advisor, that is) told me today that there is safety in the committee. If they feel like I've taken on more than I can chew, they can sometimes redesign the whole thing and make it a lot more simple and d-o-a-b-l-e.

Doable. That would be nice.

I dropped the "I"

I am no longer ABDI (all but dissertation & internship). I finished all 500 hours of my doctoral clinical internship as of yesterday. So now, I'm truly ABD.

A couple of things have transpired for me and my dissertation.

First, I've completely changed my internal committee members. I had planned originally to do quantitative work and so I selected people who would appropriately help me in that regard. With my change to qualitative methodology, I have felt a strong need to change to people who understand the qualitative research process. It is VERY different! With that change set, I am now happily going to start on my dissertation proposal.

Second, I have decided to collect my own data in my home country. It's ambitious but there is really no other alternative for me. I feel that this is the only thing that I can do and feel like it is work that truly matters. I don't want to spend my time doing work that does not feel important and significant to me. I want to publish my dissertation, I want to allow my dissertation to be the launching pad for my research work into the future. The extra effort will pale in comparison to my motivation to do my dissertation. At the end of the process, I want to be able to say, "that was really meaningful work!"

Not Quite A Feminist

Yesterday marked the last meeting I needed to set up my new committee. I met Committee Member in her office, and we had a very nice conversation. She has lived in Buddhist Country and speaks the language fluently. In some ways, she behaves like people from that country. Buddhist Country may not be where I will collect my data, but My Country is pretty close to it, and so culturally, she is the closest informant in my department. She said she would be very happy to be in my committee.

Now I have a committee of three women. Two women co-advisers, and one woman committee member. I struggled with that a little, then realized that I am a man, and so is Outside Committee Member. That's balance, isn't it?

Working with women does feel different from working with men (generally speaking). I just need to alter my worldview slightly and chant a new mantra: "Let the estrogen flow!"