To D or not to D

I am feeling uncertain about a possible core category which I am calling, "D". I feel uncertain about this core category not because the data does not point towards it, but no other scholar in the field has called it that.

But everything in my data says: "D is it!"

In fact, when I talked to a respondent yesterday, he too, said "D? That's EXACTLY it."

So, why do I feel so nervous about this core category?

Because I may very well be leading a new movement in the field. And I have a feeling that other scholars in the field will attack me for it -- because they are so attached to the established perspectives, particularly, they like to call the phenomenon "S." Twenty-over years of research calling something "S," and with grounded theory emergence, I am seeing "D" instead. Dare I challenge the field with a new movement? Do I really know what I am talking about? Aren't I just a small, little doctoral student?

What I need to do now is to do more theoretical sampling and test out potential core category "D." See if I get more similar responses than the one I got yesterday.

Today

"Today, while the blossom still clings onto the vine..."

That's the first line to a song. You know, following from yesterday's post, Tomorrow?

Ahem. Anyway.

Today's ToDo does not look very enticing. I've decided that since I have no meetings, I will go into the office, spend a few hours doing work-work, then have lunch, and then stay in the office to dissertate.

I have never done that before.

I'm used it dissertating at home, around the dining room, in the living room, even in the tea/coffee shops around.

I don't know why I'm doing it. Probably because I need a change in environment. Probably because I'm trying to "integrate" research into my "daily work" life.

Sigh. (Will another day be wasted?)

More updates later below these three dashes.

- - -

Update

Guess how many hours of dissertating I did?

If you guessed zero, you're right.

-_-

Tomorrow

Since my last post, almost an entire week wheezed by, occupied by other activities.

I finally found some time today and forced myself to attend to my variables and memos. Despite my best effort, I was only able to put in three hours of work. Compared to seven hours, three seems like a drop in the bucket, but it's actually pretty good. Still I'm not happy with the output because The Rush is on!

I could force myself to keep working, or I could stop...

I think I will stop. Not because I can't push myself, but because comparing and sorting of memos requires another kind of mind -- a clear mind. After 3 hours of reading and thinking, the brain feels like mush, so any additional time spent will probably be non-productive.

It'll be better tomorrow. I know it will be...

Sniff... :'-)

(don't you just love her?)

\\\\/, \\\\/, \\\\/, \\\\/, \\\\/, \\\\/, \\\\/

For every 10 minutes of focused work that I do, I make a tick on my virtual MacBook sticky pad. Like this: \

Each hour consists of 5 x 10 minutes, giving myself a 10 minute break, adding to a full hour's work.

How many hour's work did I do? Yes, you counted that right. SEVEN hours of effective work done.

SEVEN!!!

Remember how unmotivated I was yesterday? And how I didn't force the issue, but decided to come back with more motivation today?

\o/

When I came back and told my wife, she shared that a friend and her prayed specifically this morning that I would be very focused in my work. Prayer works!

So...

All collected data has been coded!!! Now, to print out every single one of my coded "variables" and do some serious comparing and contrasting (which I have already been doing, because I have tons of memos). Then, I can zoom in on some variable, even consider them to be codes, and do targeted theoretical sampling.

I'm reaching a very exciting phase of my grounded theory: emergence!

It's Just One of Those Days

I had a whole day devoted to dissertating.

I've been trying to push myself to do more than 2 hours of data analysis for the past hour.

I just can't do any more.

I'm not tired; I'm not sleepy; I'm not busy. I just don't want to do any more. Simple.

Sometimes, one just needs to say, "enough is enough," and not force the issue.

I'll be back tomorrow, feeling more motivated.

I hope.

A Running Post...

This post is "alive" and will be updated over the rest of the day.

Why? Because I have not been able to do any dissertation work the past two days, and there is a great deal of anxiety within. This post will keep me accountable to reporting to... the world(!) about my progress for the day.

8:49am. Going to exercise followed by some quiet reflection time. The recent bad news in Home Country has taken up a lot of my attention, especially since it hit a sanctuary where many friends call home.

12:15pm. Sitting at the coffee shop having a croissant and coffee after having done the morning routine as well as some Officework. -_- Yes, officework on a Saturday.

1:45pm. Dissertating has not begun at all! Coffee shop's fast internet access is not helping. I'm going to find another place where there is no internet access.

4:20pm. Two coffees and 1+ hour of work later, I'm feeling tired and woozy. The challenge with CGT is that you really have to think through your analysis. It's definitely not plug-n-play.

6:10pm. Dozed off for an hour. Then got news that I got into the Seminar at Oldest Varsity! Of course, I had to do the necessaries such as looking into flights, booking accommodation, etc. right away. I have never been to Oldest Varsity, so I'm really looking forward to seeing what it looks like compared to my alma mater, Second Oldest Varsity.

I have only six more weeks before I need to finish off all my codes and tie them together. This gives me NEW MOTIVATION! The count-down is on!

Building Momentum

I should have started 1.5 hours ago. But dillying and dallying this and that is killing my sense of momentum.

grrr... (growling at self)

It's 5:30pm. Dinner is at 7pm.

I will get one clocked hour of dissertation in between now and 7.

... appropriate software programs are turned on;

... soft music is turned on;

... and last of all, my trusty timer.

Darn. Lost the battery in my timer. >.<

No! My momentum shall not be defeated today.

... and last of all, my trusty cellphone timer!

Here we go. Will report by 7pm how well I did.

-----

60 clocked minutes of work done. Ahhh....! ^ _ ^

Masking Gender

She or he = sh'he

Her or him = hirm

It's actually pronounceable!

ha. ha.